There was this one time I was mowing somebody’s lawn and the woman at the house next door did a striptease . . . while she was mowing her lawn.

Odd jobs are what I do for a living, and mowing lawns is a quick and easy way to make some regular money. I showed up at one of my clients’ houses as usual on a Wednesday afternoon and offloaded my zero-turn mower from the trailer. The client didn’t actually live here. This was an empty property that he’d been trying to sell for months. It was because he didn’t live there that he’d hired me to keep it mowed.

This was my third week mowing. The first time, it had taken about an hour and a half while I figured out the ins and outs of the property—random trees, numerous plant beds and ornaments to go around, a few steep slopes, that kind of thing. The second time, last Wednesday, was a bit quicker, but I felt sure I was being watched; I kept seeing the neighbor’s curtain twitch.

These two houses were fairly close, and one lawn ran into the next. I was pretty sure where the property line was, but I had to wonder if I’d overstepped and caused a bit of uppity indignation.

Oh well. I got on with the job. If I mowed short of the property line, I wouldn’t be doing my job. And if I mowed too far, well, it would save the neighbor some work. No point worrying about it.

It had been hot last week, and I’d taken my shirt off. This week was even hotter, so I took it off again. There were plenty of trees, and I’d be in and out of the shadows, so no chance of getting burnt. But damn, it was humid.

I was maybe ten minutes into the job, lost in a daydream, when the neighbor rode into view on her own mower. She appeared from behind her house and cut a straight line all the way to the end of her property, which basically dictated where the property line was. Suited me fine.

The blonde didn’t see me, because I was still circling around on her blind side. But I couldn’t help thinking she was pretty hot, at least from a distance. She wore a white sleeveless vest, red shorts, and flip flops.

By the time I got back to the property line and turned to mow alongside it, she was off on the far side of her lawn, still oblivious to me. So I cut my line, turned again, and headed away from her just as she disappeared behind the house.

The next time I approached the neighbor’s property, she was a little further behind on her loop, so I ended up being much closer when she popped into sight from behind her house. This time she saw me, and she smiled and gave a wave before steaming past.

Well, she seemed nice enough. And damn, hotter than I’d thought.

The third time we met, we seemed to have a routine going where she popped into view right as I got to the property line. Funny thing is, she’d taken her vest off at some point and was down to her white bra. When she saw me, she made a show of wiping her brow, puffing out her cheeks, and shaking her head. I nodded and grinned. Yeah, it’s humid as hell today.

There’s not much conversation to be had when you’re mowing. Everything is miming and hand signals. Still, I wondered if it would be worth slowing down and waiting. She might stop for a chat. Or she might not. She might be comfortable throwing off her vest while riding at a distance, but it was different up close and face to face.

Should I or not? I decided yes, I’d be sociable.

So, the next time around, I ran through a few lines in my head. Hey, just thought I’d say hello. Or, Glad you showed me where the property line was. All lame, but it didn’t matter. Anything to get a conversation started.

But even though I slowed down, no words emerged from my throat. My mouth hung open, and I watched with amazement as she rode past wearing just those cute red shorts and flip flops. No bra this time.

She didn’t even bother to hide her bare breasts. They bounced and jiggled as she bumped over rough patches. My expression must have been a sight, because she was laughing as she roared past on that John Deere.

Somehow, I pretty much stayed on track with my mowing, except for a little strip of grass that I missed back there. I continued on around the lawn, sneaking glances back as I went. She was way over in the distance now; we were at the opposite ends of our properties.

Okay, definitely talk to her next time around.

My heart was racing at the thought of us both sitting there on our mowers, engines switched off, five feet apart, having a conversation. How would I even concentrate with her bare breasts right there in front of me?

I throttled my engine as fast as it would go. Weird how I stuck to my mowing lines even though I could have just cut a corner and got back to her faster. I’m anal retentive, and even that little strip I’d missed bothered the fuck out of me.

I made good time though, and I reached the property line before she did. I slowed a bit, waiting on her. For a second, I thought maybe she’d stopped behind her house and was done with this game. She might have reconsidered. What if she was super-embarrassed right now, and had gone to hide in shame?

A second after the sound of her engine hit my ears, she rode into view once more. There she was again, breasts bouncing and jiggling as before. This time her red shorts had mysteriously disappeared, and she wore only a simple pair of white panties. Oh, and sandals.

Again, I lost my voice. And again, she laughed at me.

But this time I veered off my cutting line and rolled toward her, coming to a halt and making it obvious I was up for a chat now.

She slowed just a little, but she looked me up and down and shouted, “Isn’t it too hot for shorts?”

Then she shoved the lever forward and roared away.

My God, she had long legs. Slender and smooth, with graceful hips and a small waist. I wished I’d been able to get closer, but apparently she had no intention of stopping. This was a game of mower stripteze, and she wanted me to take my shorts off.

Well, shit. I mean, these two properties were fairly private, so why not? The only other house in sight was the neighbor on the far side of the blonde’s, and I doubt they’d be able to see a damn thing unless they stood looking over the wooden fence.

So, before I made my complete circuit, I pulled my shorts off and threw them aside. I still had boxers on, and my crocs, so that made us even.

As expected, when we met once more near the property line, she still had her panties on. As soon as she saw I’d dumped my shorts, she grinned and nodded, giving me a thumbs-up. But then she shouted, “Don’t you think it’s too humid for underwear?”

Just a quick observation here. We were supposed to be mowing in ever-decreasing rectangles, but we seemed to have abandoned that practice near the property line. So we passed each other at the same proximity each time, shooting our clippings toward each other—but not so close that we’d spatter each other with grass. That bit of distance was frustrating. I wanted to get closer.

Holy cow. Too humid for underwear? Her meaning was perfectly clear.

On the final approach to the property line, I slowed, took a quick look around to make sure there were no FedEx drivers or mailmen pulling up in the driveway . . . and then whipped my boxers off. I tossed them on top of my shorts and gunned the engine.

Shit, I was already aroused. Now my cock was stiffening even more. I wasn’t sure I wanted a full-on erection just yet. I took great effort to focus on something else just for a moment as I neared the meeting point.

I got there first and slowed. The blonde appeared a second later, tits still wobbling. At first the John Deere hood blocked my view below her waist, but as she drew closer and passed me by, I saw that she still had her panties on.

Fuck!

Her eyes widened at my state of undress. Yeah, there I was, with my large cock hardening in a most unbecoming way. I didn’t know what to do. Clapping my hands over my tackle would have been lame. Yet I felt a little cheated. I mowed on past, giving her a relaxed grin even though my heart was pounding.

Dammit!

Had she tricked me, or was just checking I’d actually go naked before committing to it herself? I suspected the latter. So, rather than slide back into my boxers on the next circuit, I stayed naked for a second round.

When we met again, she’d done the decent thing and discarded her panties. Hurrah! I couldn’t really see anything except her bare hip, but I planned to.

This time, she slowed down a little and beckoned me. And without thinking, I veered close, then remembered the grass clippings and slapped at the cutting deck button to turn it off.

Too late—I showered her with my grass. And she showered me! We both shut our eyes and flinched before coming blindly to a halt with our mowers a couple of feet from each other. I don’t know who disengaged our cutting deck first, but the overall noise ebbed a little Now we just had our engines running on low.

I had to spit grass from my mouth. While I was doing that, she was busy blinking rapidly and trying to clear something from one eye. It was a perfect opportunity to check out her full naked body.

Grass clippings were stuck to her sweaty body—her face and neck, bits on her breasts and belly, and all over her thighs and the leg on the nearest side to me. But what I noticed most was that she had no crotch hair, and that her legs were spread wide over the John Deere seat. I was busy staring at the lips of her pussy when she finally cleared her eyes and focussed on me.

“Hi,” she said over the noise of our engines. She reached out to shake my hand. “I’m Maria.”

I took her hand and gently shook it, aware of how her breasts dangled a little as she leaned forward. “Charlie,” I croaked.

She gazed at my junk for a second, and her cheeks reddened a little. She bit her lip, then looked me in the eyes again. Raising her voice again, she called, “I was going to invite you for an iced lemonade. Are you interested?”

“Hell yeah!”

“Then follow me.”

Maria turned her wheel sharply and trundled off toward the house. I followed, sneaking a glance all around. I’d never been in the neighbor’s yard before. The next house overlooked her fence, but I didn’t see anyone peering out of the windows.

She rolled to a stop and shut off her engine. I did the same. When she stood up to climb off, my gaze followed her full, pear-shaped naked ass. She gestured for me to follow—not to the house, or to the round table and chairs, but to a hose pipe on the wall.

“Let’s get washed up a bit,” she suggested.

She bent to turn on the water, then squeezed the trigger for a gentle shower, aiming it at her neck and chest.

“Want some help?” I asked as I approached.

She nodded and handed me the hose, her gaze once more flicking down to my tackle. When I turned the spray on her, she closed her eyes, tilted her head back, placed her hands on her head, and spaced her feet apart.

I sprayed her breasts clean, moved down to her belly and hips, then worked on the grassiest leg before running back up the other side. I made sure to catch her in the crotch, too. Soon she was dripping everywhere.

“Get my hair too,” she said, still with her eyes closed. She turned her back to me and ran her hands through her hair while I wetted it down. Her gleaming ass was spectacular.

There was nothing I could do about it. My cock was at full mast by now. When she took the hose from me, I struck a similar post to her and closed my eyes, and she diligently showered me down . . . lingering on my erection.

“Oops,” she said, finally turning off the hose.

I opened my eyes.

She moved closer and murmured, “Don’t turn around, but the nosy bitch next door is looking out of her window.”

“Oh shit!”

“Just ignore her. She’s an old spinster and is probably jealous.”

“Yeah, but I might lose this mowing job if . . .” I frowned. “You know what, who the fuck cares? It’s just forty bucks a week. I’d take this naked afternoon with you any day.”

She smiled and glanced down. I ogled her wet tits and jutting nipples.

“Still want that lemonade?” she murmured, looking back up at me. “Here, relax while I get some.”

Taking my elbow, she guided me over to a couple of sunbeds. They were fully reclined. I’d be willing to bet she did a lot of nude sunbathing.

Too late, I remembered the nosy neighbor. Shit, she had to be getting an eyeful of my erection now that I’d turned toward her house.

“Don’t mind her,” Maria muttered. “Seriously—tune her out. Lie back and relax. Won’t be a minute.”

So, feeling a little weird about the situation, I lay back on the sunbed with my eyes shielded from the sun and my cock sticking up. To be fair, the nosy bitch didn’t have to look out of her window.

Could she call the cops? Did she have a case for indecent exposure even though we were on private property? I had no idea. I was still pondering that when Maria returned.

I cracked one eye open. She’d brought two glasses of lemonade as promised, and she was still naked except for her sandals.

“Jeez, she’s still watching,” she muttered, setting the glasses on the table. Suddenly, she yelled, “Take a picture, Ethel! It’ll last longer!”

That worried me. “Hey, what if she does?”

“Oh, don’t worry. That old cunt doesn’t even have a mobile phone.”

Maria was standing over me while she was talking, her pussy within reach. I was about to run my hand up the inside of her thigh, but she acted first and climbed on top of me. She straddled me in a heartbeat, with her butt in my face, and her knees up on the sturdy sunbed on each side.

“Let’s give her something to really complain about,” Maria said.

All I could see was her anus as she took a firm hold of my cock and slowly rubbed up and down. I gasped at her cold touch. She still had icy fingers from carrying those lemonade glasses.

“My God, Charlie, your cock is amazing.”

“Thanks,” I managed.

Still grasping the base of my shaft, she closed her mouth over the end. I felt her tongue flicking and teasing. I groaned and fought the urge to twist and buck. Blow jobs always made me fidgety as hell.

Since her legs were so wide open, I ran a hand up the inside of her thigh and started massaging her smooth pussy. She was so soft. And wet, as I found out when I slipped a couple of fingers inside her vagina. I ran my thumb over her anus, and it was funny how my actions directly altered what she was doing to me. When I moved faster, she did too. And when I pushed my fingers deeper, she took in more of my cock.

“Do you MIND!” a woman’s voice yelled.

This broke the spell, and Maria came up laughing. She sat up, and just for a second, my nose was jammed into her butt crack and I couldn’t breathe. But then she threw a leg over and stood up to face the neighbor.

“Mind your own business, Ethel!” she yelled back. “Just go inside and watch your shitty game shows!”

“I have a right to look out my window, young lady!”

“And I have a right to fuck someone in my backyard!”

I didn’t like how this was going. “Maybe we should—” I started.

But she swung around and grabbed my hand. “Come with me.”

Just for a second, I thought maybe she’d seen sense and wanted to go inside.

Hell no.

She dragged me across the lawn toward the neighbor’s house. The fence was just about chest height, and she gripped the top and arched her back, sticking her ass up toward me.

“Fuck me,” she urged.

“Uh—”

“Come on, Charlie,” she yelled, “shove that massive cock up my cunt and fuck me!”

Holy shit.

“Maria, I don’t think—”

“You’re disgusting!” the woman next door yelled. We were much closer now, and the voice came from the kitchen window at the rear of the house. Ethel, as Maria had called her, wasn’t as old as I’d expected, probably in her forties if I were to guess. But jeez, she had a severe look about her. “I’m calling the police!”

“Call ’em, bitch!”

Wow, Maria really had issues with her neighbor.

As tempted as I was to fuck her, I didn’t like how ugly this scene was. “Can we go inside?” I urged. “Honestly, if she calls the police—”

“Charlie, please. Come on, live a little!”

She was looking back at me and wiggling her butt, her feet wide apart again. I was so tempted . . .

Because I dithered, she swung around and wrapped her arms around my neck, squashing her breasts against my chest—which felt amazing. She moved about, making them slide across my skin, then repositioned her arms and slid her hands down my sides to my butt, which she squeezed and pulled toward her.

My erection had started waning with the ugliness of the situation, but now it hardened again. She took hold of it and somehow, with some maneuvering and standing on tiptoes, guided it into her vagina.

“Oh, shit, uh . . .” I mumbled, taken by surprise. “I, uh . . . I guess we’re doing this.”

“We are,” she said with a smile. She wrapped her arms around my neck again, held on tightly, and then wrapped her legs around my waist. “Fuck me, Charlie.”

We were glued together. I staggered a little. She wasn’t heavy by any means, but that’s a lot of extra weight on my front side, and balancing was difficult—especially when she moved up and down on me, gasping into the side of my neck.

I couldn’t do that for long, and she knew it. The moment we separated, she swung around and gripped the fence again.

“Aw, shit,” I said, and slid into her from the back. I started thrusting, and she cried out, and I thrust harder, and when she straightened up a little, I reached around and grabbed her breasts.

“The police are on their way!” Ethel shouted. “I’ve never seen such disgusting behavior!”

“That’s why . . . you live alone . . .” Maria retorted. But she’d lost the ability to yell, so her voice was low and breathy. “Oh my God, harder, harder!”

I fucked her harder and harder, but honestly, as good as it was, I had the police on my mind, not to mention Ethel’s sensitivities. I had to end this, and soon.

Luckily, with her ass cheeks slapping against my belly, and her tits in my hands, and Maria crying out really loudly, I felt that build up soon after and knew it was about to happen.

“I’m coming,” I gasped.

I pulled out at the last second and spurted up her back in four or five knee-buckling spasms that left me crying out like a girl. Maria waited for me to finish, then turned around and showed her back to Ethel.

“Oh dear! Look at the cum all over my back! It’s so disgusting, Ethel!” Maria grinned at me, patted me on the chest, and started off across the lawn toward her house. “Come on, Charlie, we have cum to wash off, lemonade to drink, clothes to put on, and lawns to mow.”

And that was exactly what we did—and we put on the most surprised faces when the police actually did show up at Maria’s house and walked round the back to talk to her. She switched the engine off and looked really puzzled as she went to meet the officer wearing her white vest, red shorts, and sandals.

I kept mowing, determined not to be roped into this unless called.

The officer did call me over, though. I rode closer and cut the engine, remaining in my seat as I spoke. “Something wrong? What’s happening?”

“Afternoon, sir. We had a report about . . . well, about you two, actually. Lewd behavior. Sexual intercourse.”

“What?” I gasped. “I’m sorry, but—what?”

“My apologies,” Maria said to me, wringing her hands. “My neighbor is crazy and makes up all kinds of horrible stuff. “I’m Maria, by the way.”

She held out her hand, and I leaned over to shake it. “Charlie. What kind of horrible stuff?”

“Oh my God! She called the police last month and said I was . . .” She paused, looking embarrassed. “Um, well, having sexual relations with two girlfriends. I mean, I was just mortified.”

The officer nodded. “And the month before that, your neighbor complained that you’d lay down on the hood of her car and masturbated.”

“Oh sweet Jesus . . .” she muttered. “Don’t remind me.”

“What’s interesting,” the officer said, looking at me, “is that the owner of this house, who you’re mowing the lawn for, reported very similar sexual activity, and a whole lot more. He said he couldn’t live here anymore, and that’s why he’s selling.”

I said nothing.

Maria said nothing, and for once she looked worried.

The officer looked at us both in turn. “Is there any element of truth to these allegations? At all?”

When he stared hard at Maria, she put her finger and thumb close together and mumbled, “Maybe . . . a teensy bit?”

The officer put away his notebook and turned to face the empty house. “Very well. I’ve been looking to buy in this neighborhood for a while now, and quite frankly, this place is perfect.”